You've all heard of him, but who exactly was he? Eric Hudson has the answer...
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt and O Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Knee-deep Schitt, Inc.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, Fulla schitt, Giva Schitt and Bull Schitt, a high school dropout.
After being married for 15 years Jack and Noe divorced. Noe later married Mr Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a cowardly son, Chicken Schitt.
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseperable throughout childhood and consequently, married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd and Horse . BullSchitt the prodical son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned with his new bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says you dont know Jack Schitt, you can correct them.
