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Name
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What they would say...
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oillslick
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if wit was shit you would be constipated
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PipD
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Whilst serving in 68 Sqn. I'd been there 3 years. Sent up to the orderley Room for something or other. Hanging around in the corridor. The OC came out of his office. "What are you hanging around for Pte Davidson" says he. "I was told there was a promotion happening," says I, I'm not sure what it's for but I wondered if I could put in an order for one." Three weeks later I was marched in to the OC. "Lcpl Davidson, get out of my office, you're improperly dressed." I was always taught that you never get anything if you don't ask.
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mad doctor
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Overheard this years ago.
A young Lt joined the submarine and was introduced to the 1st Lt.
Lt. Pleased to meet you sir, my name is Richard but I much prefer Dick.
1st Lt. Yes, you look as if you probably do.
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Tom Kelly
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Wish I had said this, Spike Milligan said it first though. Whilst shopping downtown he met his Colonel and his wife, the colonel, :what are you doing here Milligan ?: to which milligan retorted :Well Colonel everyone has to be somewhere at sometime and I just happen to be here.
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Tom Kelly
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I did say this.The new colonel whom I last knew as a sgt 20yrs previously, at his first regimental dinner was impressing me and another sgt major with his appreciation of fine french wines. He boasted that he exclusively drank french wine, and what wonderfull wine we were drinking this evening. I pointed out that the wine was called TURNING LEAF.from California. This inverted snobbery will not do.
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Tom Kelly
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New Colonel last seen by me when I was pvte, he sgt.on surprise visit with large entourage behind his sight line. Sweeps into my office, my goodness sgt major you have put on weight since I Last seen you.(20yrs)I responded Aye Colonel youve acquired a few rolls of pork yerself sir. The unbounded grinning mirth of the sycophants following that he could not see warmed my heart. He studiously avoided me for the next two years.
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Tom Kelly
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I did say this, Colonel you have a wonderfull personality, unfortunately I am the only one around here that knows it. Response, Are you trying to tell me something sgt major ?
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todger
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If you wanted a battle of wits, why did you come unarmed ?
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todger
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Six million sperm and you were the smartest ?
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Steve Tranter
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Pan bash sir! On a Friday afternoon sir! Nah... You can do it yourself or stick it up you arse. I'm off on the stadt......
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